P.O. Box 53055    
Los Angeles, CA 90053   

THE STRANGER WHO HUGS KIDS

A story came out on KNX news radio here in L.A. just last week that — well, you almost wanted to swerve off the freeway, stop the car, get out, and throw some rocks at . . . SOMETHING. Anything. Except that this story actually sounded so common now that most people who heard it probably just went driving on. A parent had used the Internet to send around nude photos of her 12-year-old daughter; she e-mailed this color picture to several male acquaintances, and then arranged for sexual encounters between these so-called men and her own little girl.

Now, in this case, the offending parent happened to be the mother, but in so many stories just like it, it is the father who bargains away the virtue of his own innocent child. Or perhaps steals it for himself. But our theme this week is this: WHAT A REAL MAN DOES. And we think here of men who will send or receive, over the worldwide web, a photo of a human being, a minor child. And then that man participates in something so abusive, so very, very wrong, that we just have to wonder: where are the REAL men? How could any man do this? we ask. And then in our next breath, as we watch tabloid television, or hear about computer groups like the Man-Boy Love Network, we ask: how can SO MANY men have consciences that are so seared, so emptied of truth, that they can do these things?

As I said yesterday, it's not our intention this week to delve into a lot of social ills. But I confess that these wretched stories do serve as a sobering springboard for where we DO want to go, and that's to look at the life and heart of one very REAL Man named Jesus Christ.

I think all of us in our hearts have this picture of what true Manhood ought to be and ought to do. In our radio visit yesterday we considered the fact that a real man would look at a woman and see value there, humanity, a child of God. True, there is a time and a place and a properness to a man's sexual instincts, where that spouse God gave him is an equal partner in joyfully celebrating the gift of physical union. But a real man, we decided, would first see the woman as a real person, a whole person. What's more, a real man would be strong to defend; he would stand up to accusers. And of course, the Bible tells us stories where Jesus was that kind of Man.

Now today let's think about children. In the book Fatherless America, David Blankenhorn talks about how so many kids just don't have dads anymore. There IS no real man in the home.

"About one-third of all childbirths in the nation," he writes, "now occur outside of marriage. In most of these cases, the place for the father's name on the birth certificate is simply left blank."

And then he tells sad anecdotes where small children fantasize about this wonderful man, this Dad who really doesn't exist. One little boy who had never met his biological father said over and over to friends: "I'll bet my dad is really big and strong." Never once met him. Another child, just four years old, whose father had been killed, just could not accept that reality. He would repeat each night to the foster family:

"My daddy is killed, yes, my sister said so. He cannot come. I want him to come." And then unreality would take over right there. "My daddy is big, he can do everything. . . . My daddy is taking me to the zoo today. He told me last night; he comes every night and sits on my bed and talks to me."

Blankenhorn takes an anecdote from a book entitled Do I Have a Daddy?

"What about Daddy? Didn't he want me?' asked Eric. "Your daddy was excited," says the mom, trying to cover for this absent man. "He came to see you when you were very little. But then he went away." "Did he like me?" asked Eric. "Oh yes! and he was very proud of you," Mother replied. "Then why did he go away?" asked Eric. "Caring for a baby is a big job," said Mother. "Your daddy wasn't ready for that." "Oh," said Eric.

Those are hard stories, aren't they? The author then writes: "What we need are fewer excuses, and more fathers." And then, what's more painful even yet to read than the stories about men who are gone, are Blankenhorn's stories about men who, unfortunately, are NOT gone. Stepdads who abuse, live-in boyfriends who slip into a little girl's bedroom late at night. This author gives demographic names to some of these male types: "The Visiting Dad." "The Stepfather." "The Nearby Guy." These men who aren't really in the picture; but sometimes they're tragically in the picture in graphic ways we could never share here on the radio. Envision with me that 12-year-old girl whose parent takes her picture, scans it into a computer, or makes a .tif or JPEG file out of it, and then e-mails it to men, so that they can come over to the house and abuse that girl. I mean, just picture that girl! Try to imagine her pain.

And now, friend, what about Jesus Christ? Because here was a Man, oftentimes a Stranger, who was forever with children. He hung around with kids; He played with them. They sat on His lap. He told them stories. He had treats for them. And when you think about it, this Man exhibits all of the signs of what we here in 2001 might consider danger. In Matthew 19:13, we read these incredible words:

"Then little children were brought to Jesus for Him to PLACE HIS HANDS ON THEM." Unbelievable! But then the Bible continues: "To place His hands on them and PRAY for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

That contrast to me is so stirring. Here was a Man who was completely safe. You could set your child in His lap, go away for two hours to do some shopping, and know without the slightest doubt that your small treasure, your child, was completely safe. Safer there than anywhere, come to think about it.

You know, in his book, David Blankenhorn writes something very thought-provoking. Children NEED, he says, to be "man-handled." And we say, "What?!" But that's right. A child needs handling, holy handling, safe handling, from a masculine source. Small children need to be held and fondled and cuddled and tossed high in the air by a good, strong, safe man. Children need a man who is good to them, who will hold them in his lap and pray for them. That's very blunt, isn't it, and a whole new way of looking at it. A KID NEEDS TO BE MAN-HANDLED.

In fact, Blankenhorn's closing chapter outlines some ways society can work, some guidelines and statewide initiatives and county programs we could all adopt, to give children this gift of holy masculine care. Here's that last chapter title: "A Father For Every Child."
I mentioned yesterday how a real man is a defender. There's a wonderful anecdote in this book about that, and this is a mom talking:

"My daughter was about seven. We had just bought her a brand-new bike and we lived in suburbia. The bike was outside on the front lawn. My daughter . . . went outside and the bike was gone. Okay. Meanwhile a little boy down the street . . . [also] said his bike was taken. My husband gets in his van. . . . You know what he did? He took his van right to where the kids were and knocked them off their bikes. They dropped both of the bikes and they ran. Now, not only had he saved my daughter's bike, but the little kid down the street's. I mean everybody, the whole neighborhood, knew what my husband had done. My daughter was so proud of her daddy saving their bikes."

Well, that's a little story, but do you know, the Bible describes Jesus as that kind of strong, manly defender. Back just one chapter, in Matthew 18, Christ calls up a little child, puts His arm around him, and tells the crowd, basically: "If you mess with this child, it would be better for you to be dead! We'd tie a millstone around your neck and drown you . . . that'd be a better fate than what My Father will do to you!"

You moms and you dads and you kids listening today — I want you to imagine the family life of heaven. Because heaven will only be inhabited — in terms of the male population — by REAL men. Men who are like Jesus. Men with pure hands and holy hearts and strong, innocent touches. Moms, you'll be able to say to your children anywhere, anytime: "Sure, you can go play. Sure, you can talk to a stranger. Sure, you can accept a ride or a treat or a hug. Sure, you can stay out late." There will never again be a worry about the evil specter of abuse, because there will only be real men in heaven, Christ-like men. In fact, Psalm chapter 24 lists the resumé of these real men who are in God's kingdom:

"Who then has a right to walk up the Lord's hill and stand in the Holy Place? Those who are innocent and pure in heart." "He who has clean hands and a pure heart," says another version.

We may live today in Fatherless America. But heaven is a whole ‘nother kind of country.