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IN LOVE WITH THE TERMINATOR

If you want a solid answer to our radio series issue of the week, WHAT A REAL MAN DOES, I'm not sure you would turn to the comedy-club musings of Mr. Jerry Seinfeld. In his compilation book, SeinLanguage, he candidly admits that most men — himself included — are pretty much total flakes. Can you count on them? Not for more than three or four seconds.

He writes about weddings and the fact that you can hardly rely on a man to even show up for that. Which is why, he suggests, the whole event is so generic. The preacher standing up front says to the bride: "Do you take this man?" Not even a name — just this man. Whoever he is. In fact, according to Seinfeld, that's probably also the reason why all the men in the wedding party dress alike. If the groom doesn't show up, every man just moves up one notch and you marry the NEXT guy in line. "Okay, then, do you take THIS man?"

Well, I don't suppose we derive that much comic relief from Seinfeld's nightclub act. Because in real life, there ARE men who leave, men who don't show up. They might get to the church on time, but they're tragically missing from some important lives very soon thereafter.

In his gripping book, Fatherless America, David Blankenhorn quotes from a woman who looks into the camera with this plaintive cry:

"What do I need to do, and who do I need to be, to find a man who won't abandon me, as the men in my life and my mother's life have done?"

There's an anecdote later in this troubling book, Fatherless America, where a mom decides that she has finally found the dream man for her home and her boy. But notice the irony here:

"In the highly popular 1991 action-fantasy movie Terminator 2," Blankenhorn writes, "Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a high-tech robot who becomes a father figure to a boy named John Conner. ‘I wish I could've met my real Dad,' the boy says. ‘Mom and him were only together for one night.' Sara, John's mother, watching her son bond with the robot named Terminator, finally finds her answer to the father problem. To Sara, ‘it was suddenly so clear. The Terminator would never stop, it would never leave him, and it would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit him, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there, and it would die to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up.'"

That's a sobering concept, isn't it . . . that the only being capable of being a real man isn't a man at all, but a Hollywood special-effects machine. Isn't there a man anywhere who can do what a man is supposed to do?

Well, as we've been saying this week, our focus is especially on that one Man, that one REAL Man, who shows us even more about manhood than the Terminator. That Man, of course, is Jesus Christ. And before you call me on a cell phone to protest that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesus were both super-beings, non-men, nothing more than holy robots from the city of Stepford, let me remind you that the Bible clearly states that Jesus was human as well as divine. A human Baby, a human Boy, a human Teenager, and a human Man. He bled and He sweat and He cried just like we do. He got hungry when supper was late, and tired when bedtime got postponed. The things that irritate us — mosquitos, dumb people, a nasty rash that won't go away — were in His life as well. And yet it's very interesting to me to simply read through the four gospels and find story after story where this male-gender person named Jesus shows us what a real Man does.

Let me just take you on a quick man's journey through one Bible book named Matthew. In chapter three, we find Jesus being baptized down at the Jordan River. Now, Christians around the world agree that Christ didn't need baptism; He was sinless. He was what the Bible called "that holy Thing," the blameless Lamb of God. Why did He agree to get wet for no good reason? As an example to His fallen brothers and sisters in the human race. Tell me: is a true Man an example to others? Does he model goodness to his own kids? Does he sometimes do that which he himself would not need to do or be expected to do, simply to show someone else the way? Of course he would. And here Jesus does that Manly thing; He serves as an example.

One chapter later is the thrilling story where Jesus resisted the temptations of Satan, not once, but three times. After forty days and nights of starvation, He stood up straight and tall and said no to His ancient enemy. And again we ask: doesn't a real man do this? How many wives have cried themselves to sleep because they were married to a man who couldn't say no to something? We did a radio series not too long ago entitled The Internet Plague, and found a story where a home was literally DESTROYED because a man simply could not resist the temptation of pornography. He fell to that vice over and over and over again; the problem escalated until his mind was literally gone. This "man" ended up sorting chocolates for a living, making a few bucks an hour, because his brain wasn't capable of doing anything more than that. But here in Matthew four, this Man named Jesus is strong enough to say no.

Chapter five: Jesus, in His wonderful Sermon on the Mount, talks about "turning the other cheek," not fighting back. And that was our topic yesterday, but let me repeat the point that almost always it takes more strength to not hit back than to whack away. But Christ not only said these manly words, He obviously lived by them Himself.

Skip over to chapter 12 — and we only bypass many other illustrations because the clock is ticking. But there's a fantastic story where Jesus heals a man's crippled hand on the Sabbath day. And we find several manly traits of character here. First of all, a true man is a healer, one who brings comfort. He has a tender heart; even if he's strong, he empathizes with those who are weak. But there's a subplot here in Matthew 12, where Jesus stands up to the tyranny and the foolish religious rules of the authorities. And I would suggest here that a real man has two more traits: a common-sense wisdom about religion and the courage to face down accusers and persecutors. Wouldn't you love to have been that man with the crippled hand: not just because you got well in two seconds there in the synagogue, but to see Jesus Christ stand tall, look hard at the Pharisees and then say to you in a quiet, Man's voice: "Stretch out your hand."

You know, in the book of Mark we're told that Jesus was actually angry on this occasion. He looked around at these hypocrites, these pious, mean-spirited churchgoers, and He was mad. Friend, sometimes it's a very dangerous symptom if a man DOESN'T get angry. Would you agree with that? Appropriately expressed anger from a strong, holy man can be a powerful weapon for good. But notice this nuance from the Today's English Version rendering:

"Jesus was angry as He looked around at them, but at the same time He felt sorry for them, because they were so stubborn and wrong."

We hurry on through these brief pages so rich in their examples of manhood. In chapter 15 of Matthew, Jesus defends a man's obligation to take care of his parents. In chapter 17 — brace yourself — He sets up a dramatic little story which even teaches us that a real man pays his taxes. How many times has a worried wife written to Ann Landers or to Jane Bryant Quinn, Newsweek's financial advisor, with this terrified admission: "My husband cheats on his taxes. Or he doesn't pay them at all. I'm afraid. Can we BOTH end up going to jail?" Friend, if a man does what a man is supposed to do, and as we're taught here by Jesus Himself, our families will never have to worry.

One of my favorites is Matthew 26, where a woman gets herself in an awkward situation: she crashes a private party and pours perfume all over Jesus' feet. You know the story, I'm sure. Now, in so many social situations today, men can easily cause hurt by the stupid things they say. Or their wife makes a blunder and they let her just sweat it out. But here, when guests begin to mutter over their drinks, Jesus looks right at them. "Leave her alone," He tells them. "She's done a beautiful thing. I love it." Friend, a real man is a defuser of awkwardness, a defender of dedicated damsels in distress.

Well, just one more as we close. Jesus is up on the cross now; He's enduring such pain that He's near death. He's been God in a man's body for 33 years, and He's about to prove that He actually can bleed and die just like other flesh-and-blood men. He's not an indestructible Terminator. But even in His last moments, He gives us one more example of what a real man does. This is over in John chapter 19, and almost with His dying breath, He calls His favorite disciple over, and in between the waves of pain, says to him: "John?" "Yes." John can hardly speak through his own tears. And Jesus says to him: "John . . . take care of My mom."

There's a wonderful line in Philip Yancey's book, The Jesus I Never Knew. I imagine we could all say "Amen": "Jesus," he writes, "is who I want my God to be."